attn: vietnam

this is how we take care of hipsters in texas. the sword is always mightier than the pen.

speaking of hipsters, these pics should clearly show how similar eastern/coastal texas is to hollywood.  

bakersfield?

pure class. 

the ultimate hipster toy (a giant yacht) owned by the ultimate hipster (george straight).  one of the cooler names ive seen on a boat...fact.  

so i guess hollywood and rockport, texas are pretty similar.  except for one key issue.  we dont drink crap like PBR down here for one simple reason...we have lonestar, and any other beer is treason.  

also, on a side note.  the bird in the following picture has followed me from the mountains of colorado to the desolation of texas.  no bullshit.  he perches outside my window every night now.  he has also managed to infiltrate all of my dreams where he always manages to tie me up to a burning cross and starts digging into my chest, snapping away my ribs in an effort to remove my liver.  i keep telling him that my liver is already tainted.  "you'll get straight drunk off of that you ignoramus," i say.  he just looks at me and spits my liver out to the ground like iron mike with an ear.  "i've already fucking told you skurv.  that's a spleen.  not a liver." 

watch your back bird.  i will defeat you one day.  

on a final side note attn: Disco.  can you please get someone to sanitize the shower before i get back?  looks like its getting some serious work.