hands free is the way to be

hey vietnam, did you not get the memo? get that phone out of your hands. ITS THE LAW.  i dont want to see anybody out there using a cell phone while they drive.  i am not against the idea of road rage with machetes...
...so just keep off the damn phone.  

and for all those out there in need of an alternative way to talk while driving, because your life is just so important that people are always in need of hearing your voice and the such, i have tracked down a few styles you can try.  bluetoofs are just so fucking cool.

this first guy puts to rest any concerns of whether or not you will be able to wear your civil war reenactment uniform and use a bluetoof at the same time.  just in case you have to get ahold of general lee to tell him youll be late because your daughter threw up all over your normal costume and you had to track down your back up which you had foolish lent out to your brother-in-law who puts together themed swinger parties.  

AND LOOK!  even the biggest whore of all time wears a bluetoof.  what a surprise.  you can tell he is comfortable with objects resting on his ear like so from all his experiences with his uncle trying to stick his dick in davie's ear every night of his youth.  that kinda thing will stick with you.  

and of course, you can still bring the thunder like this guy.  no word of whether or not lightening is included in this model but i think the amount thunder in that guys eyes reduces any need for lightening 

and finally, you can always just resort to being a keanu reeves look a like and wear this awesome configuration around your neck.  this will help you achieve the "man i want to do business with that guy...but if i do he'll probably end up fucking my wife and beating me down with a samoan war club" type of look.  

so there you go people.  bluetoof it up.  don't resort to just living a life that doesn't necesitate constant connection with insignificant entities.  nooooo.  that would be foolish.  instead, just look like a............fool?

-thaddeus